displaced memories (3 of 3)
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sometimes i remember
being murdered in a race riot in watsonville
being beaten to death by baseball bats in detroit
being bludgeoned to death with a brick in jersey city
being shot by an AK-47 on a playground during recess in stockton
being pummeled to death by white youths calling me gook in coral springs
being stabbed over 20 times in the face and chest while rollerblading in tustin
being shot by police cuz i was holding a broomstick in rohnert park
being raped eight times cuz he had an “affinity for oriental women” in chicago
being pushed to the concrete and cracking my skull as payback for the vietnam war in newmarket
being shot in the chest for wearing a turban and living
one day in september in mesa
sometimes i remember
dying
sometimes i remember
not being able to call or see my husband
not knowing why he’s being held
except that he’s muslim and dark
and i can find no more reason not to smash walls
with my brown fist
and find freedom my own way
except i’ve been stripped of my strength
in a country that hated me
before it knew me
just another random search at the airport
i might be killed just for grieving
but sometimes i remember
raising my yellow/brown fist to the sky
and demanding justice on my own terms
no more dying
no more INS raids
no more detentions
no more deportations
no more bullshit
know more
or at least i’ll remember it
when it happens
it’s only sometimes that i remember
but never will i forget
© Giles Li
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