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THOUGHTS OF REMEMBRANCE FOR CLARA (Part 2 of 3)
By MERILYNNE HAMANO QUON
Sexism makes sisters BELIEVE that they are weak, dependent, powerless, incomplete without a male figure-hate themselves for being this way. Sexism makes sisters feel passive, guilty, ashamed. Not encouraged to let their out their anger at others, they take out their frustrations on themselves. This is clearly shown in the fact that the drug overdose rate among Asian women runs 3:1 over Asian men; a ratio which parallels statistics from the Los Angeles Coroner's office on death from narcotics overdose for women of ALL ethnic groups.
But let's not just look at the oppression women experience because of sexism. Let's look at the role of men-having to play the macho trip-the provider, protector, the one who does not show emotion and can't be shown affection, the one who isn't supposed to be hugged. I recall seeing a brother crying and grieving over the death of his girlfriend and receiving not a hand reaching out to him to let him know people were with him. I saw how his parents would not reach out to him because he was a "man", he can "handle it". WHY CAN'T WE ACT AND BE TREATED LIKE HUMAN BEINGS?
Sexism in the Japanese community means that the mother is responsible for raising the children-while the father takes a distant and nonaffectionate role. This results in many Asian young people growing up feeling unloved or confused because Father rarely talked or played with them. How could they possibly know that men are taught by traditional Japanese culture that showing affection to wife and children is seen as a weakness? How could they possibly know that after the concentration camp experience, many Nisei men find it hard to spontaneously show affection because they are afraid to let out all the other emotions-frustrations, anger, bitterness-which they have suppressed for so long? Strict sex role divisions which make fathers BELIEVE that they cannot "relate" with their daughters-KILLS! Asian fathers who beat up their daughters without understanding their own frustrations for not having male children is just a logical extreme of the way sexism affects us.
What we were taught; what we should know