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Brothers, Can You Spare Some Spine?
by Rick Sha
Posted 3/22/04
Taking the Easy Way Out is a great article but Sister, Can You Lend An Ear is one of my favorite articles ever written by an Asian American woman on Asian America because the article covers bases that's often ignored when the subject of community and activism are discussed.
Like the author noted, I too am disturbed when I hear a "politically aware" Asian woman talk about the dynamics of race, gender, and politics when she’s involved with a white man. This sort of back talking is something I have seen time and time again with so-called politically active Asian women, and it smacks of hypocrisy and contradiction.
Ms.Oh really nailed it on the head when she said "Since I am fighting a system that characterizes Asian men as being undesirable and weak, it would undermine my own credibility if I were to choose a white male over an Asian male." So unlike many of these so-called "politically aware" Asian women, the author actually sees and understands the correlation between the talking the talk and walking the walk. And while there are many Asian women pretenders to the cause, there are just as many true crusaders to the cause. Articles like these - written by a true-blue sister - make me proud to have a strong sister like her on our side. So why don't we see and hear more Asian women with that voice and viewpoint?
While both articles touched on many things that Asian America should do to better connect the community as a whole, I also feel very strongly about the sexist, misogynistic and patriarchal attitudes that many of our lost brothers harbor towards our sisters. Now I'm referring to the hapless sellout Asian men who are constantly criticizing Asian women for dating and marrying out yet would give each other high fives whenever they see a brother with a white woman on their arm. Seeing an Asian brother with his white woman does not make me break out in cartwheels. In fact the site of Asian men with their trophy makes me even more furious. How are they gonna criticize Asian women for being sellouts when they go around thinking that it's ok to have a white woman dripping off their arm? The hypocrisy runs both ways.
One of the major round table discussions among Asian men is the rapid rate at which Asian women are dating and marrying white men. While their frustration is understandable, I find it appalling that their attitude is often to "give up on Asian women altogether" and try to land a trophy white woman. It appears the reasoning is "if Asian women don't want us, then our only recourse is to also date outside." But the flaw in that mentality is that it solves nothing, does nothing to empower our community and is just as hypocritical.
